Metal Armory Year End Awards Awards: Day 3

Here it is. The moment you've all been waiting for. Here are the remaining awards, including 2011's Album of the Year. If you've read the winners of the first two days, you can probably guess what it is...



Best Non-Metal Album: Wasting Light (Foo Fighters)

This award is basically my venue to talk about albums I enjoyed this year that aren't metal, and I enjoyed Wasting Light the most. This album contains the energy of your typical FF release while also delivering a decent mix of mellow, down-to-earth moments. Its amazing how these song that were written to be played in arenas were recorded in Dave Grohl's garage on tapes and sound as good as they do. This reinforces the idea that it only takes a couple of dudes with some talent to make great music and that you don't necessarily need the latest recording technology to make it sound good.


Runner Up: Alpocalypse ("Weird Al" Yankovic)




Most Disappointing Album: Post Mortem (Black Tide)

When these guys were forced to play the main stage at Ozzfest in '07 because some of their members were under 21 and could not play on the Jägermeister Stage, they showed some real potential. After their debut album, Light From Above, was released, songs like "Shockwave' and "Warriors of Time" suggested this band could go on to bigger and better things. Well, all of that goodwill was pretty much destroyed (at least for me) when their sophomore effort, Post Mortem, decided to turn the band into a processed piece of pop-metal garbage that would make even the likes of Bullet for My Valentine scoff. While the album isn't god-awful, not one song stands out to me. Everything about this album is dull and forgettable, with only a few decent solo's thrown in. It's a shame this band decided not to continue in the path the first album set and instead join the overrated sensation that is pop-metal. Maybe they can redeem themselves with the next one. I highly doubt it.

Runner Up: Th1rt3en (Megadeth) *Please Note*: Even though this album was slightly disappointing compared to their previous releases, you should still totally listen to this one. There just weren’t that many disappointing albums this year for me so that’s why I included it.


Worst Album: LuLu (Lou Reed/Metallica)

If you've listened to this abomination, you shouldn't be surprised that this album "wins" this category single-handedly. When this project was announced earlier this year, most people did not have high hopes. Sure, it wasn't the worst idea in the world, and if it had turned out differently, it could have actually been interesting. I have a feeling the writing process went something like this:

Lou Reed: "Hey guys! I'm incredibly old and have little to no artistic integrity left. How about I read off a bunch of nonsense I wrote and you guys can play over it?"

James: "Sounds good to me! I am the table, herp derp!"

Lars: "Since I'm responsible for the majority of bad decisions Metallica's made over the years and why a lot of our former fans hate us, I obviously endorse this wholeheartedly!"

Kirk: "Do I have to play any solos? No? Perfect!"

Rob: "I don't get payed enough for this."

If someone were to ask me "whats wrong with this album?", I would respond with "what's right with this album!?". The opening track alone with it's boring, repetitive riffs on top of listening to a decrepit old man spewing a bunch of gibberish was enough to make me never want to listen to this again. The rest of the "album" follows this trend of Metallica basically having a bunch of jam sessions while Lou tries to remember why he agreed to do this in the first place. What's worse, not only do these songs overstay their welcome, they refuse to leave! The closing track, "Junior Dad", takes 5 minutes to end! Its almost like the album is saying, "we're going to make you suffer for as long as we can, even when you think its over!".

So congratulations, guys. You have successfully achieved a possible low-point in your career. And congratulations, James. You are the table.

Runner Up: Post Mortem (Black Tide)


2011's Album of the Year: Worship Music (Anthrax)

Big shocker, I know. Even if I did make it seem predictable, that does not mean Worship Music is any less deserving of being this year's best album than it already was. The years it took to complete the record in addition to the changing of singers and overall uncertainty of the band made listening to how it great it is all the more satisfying. Everything about it is what you would want from a straight-up metal album. The guitars are heavy, the drums are intense, the bass grooves, and Joey Belladonna's return helps restore the classic Anthrax sound that has been missing from the last few albums. I could go on and on as to why this is not only the best album released this year, but one of the best albums in Anthrax's career. Instead, I'll just tell you to go listen to it so you can better understand what I'm talking about.

Runners Up:


Dystopia (Iced Earth)

You've heard me praise this album enough already, so I'll be brief. The riffs are classic. The choruses are epic. I miss Matt, but Stu is great. It's Iced Earth. It's Jon Schaffer. It's awesome.

Iconoclast (Symphony X)

Symphony X is one of those bands that seems to be getting better with each album, and that's saying a lot considering they've been around for almost 20 years now. The opening title track sums up how well the band can combine neo-classical guitars (thanks to Michael Romeo) with progressive arrangements. The guitar is the main driving force with this record, producing some amazingly heavy riffs with a great deal of melody. Other highlights, including "End of Innocence" and "Heretic", make this a solid album all around.





That's all she wrote! Thanks for joining me in the first MAYEA Awards. I promise that next year's will be bigger and better, so look forward to that. I'd also like to thank everyone for supporting me this year and hope you will continue to read the site in the years to come. I have some new things planned for 2012 that I'd like to share soon. In the meantime, have a great New Year!

Metal Armory Year End Awards Awards: Day 2

The bias continues!

Most Aggressively Average Album: In Waves (Trivium)

Even though I wouldn't call myself a Trivium fan, I don't actively hate them. At the same time, nothing about them makes me want to go out of my way to listen to them. In Waves is an example as to why I could not care less about this band. Granted, the album was slightly better than I expected and had a few moments on it that I enjoyed, but the manufactured pop-metal sound does nothing for me. Despite that, there isn't anything offensively awful about it to make me hate it. GRRRR! The indifference is killing me!

Runner Up: Dedicated to Chaos (Queensrÿche)

The You-Should-Really-Listen-To-This Award: Dystopia (Iced Earth)

I could have just called this "My Personal Favorite Album of the Year", but this is also my way of spreading the word about one of my favorite bands. While they may not be everyone's cup of tea, Iced Earth combines my favorite things in metal: fast, heavy, melodic riffs; epic, melodic singing; and some of the best choruses you'll ever hear. Dystopia contains all of that, and the addition of Stu Block makes this album worthy of the IE name. Although it may not be their best record, I would probably put it in the Top 5. So if you haven't already, give this band and album a chance!

Runner Up: Dystopia again. Seriously. Just listen to it.

Best Song: "Fight 'Em Till You Can't" (Anthrax)

When Anthrax released the first single for Worship Music, I became even more excited than I already was. This song has everything you would want from classic thrash-era Anthrax. Its fast, its heavy, Joey Belladonna triumphantly returns, the solo is fantastic, everything about it is awesome. I probably listened to this song for an entire week straight when it was first released, and I was happy to listen to it several times more when the entire album came out.

Runner(s) Up: "Dystopia" (Iced Earth), "Zerospan" (Charred Walls of the Damned)

Come back tomorrow for the final awards, including Album of the Year!

Metal Armory Year End Awards Awards: Day 1

And so it begins! Just a heads up, even though I did not review all of the albums that are included here, I did listen to them all. I intended on reviewing most of them, but with school and general laziness, I never got around to them. So consider this a way for me to offer "mini" reviews of the albums I wanted to do but never did. Enjoy!

Best Album to Not Feature Mike Portnoy: Worship Music (Anthrax)

Mike Portnoy did not play on Worship Music, but that doesn’t mean that the drumming isn’t killer. Charlie Benante delivers a thunderous sound, which is evident in the first 5 seconds of the opening track. “Fight Em Till You Can’t” is another example that you don’t necessarily need Mike Portnoy to have excellent drumming on a record.

Runner Up: A Dramatic Turn of Events (Dream Theater)

Best Album Cover: Cold Winds on Timeless Days (Charred Walls of the Damned)

This cover wins because it lets you know it’s a metal album without being in-your-face about it. While pictures of demons, corpses, and blood can be used effectively in album art, Cold Winds on Timeless Days paints a chilling (no pun intended) picture that makes you feel that the music you are hearing is coming from this strange location. The hands on the glass shards suggest that people are trapped inside a timeless dimension, which is also apparent in the giant clock. The songs on the album are also pretty good.

Runner Up: Dystopia (Iced Earth)

Worst Album Title: Worship Music (Anthrax)

I still can’t believe they didn’t change the name after having so much time to do so. The majority of the songs originally written were either altered or scrapped altogether. So why couldn’t they come up with a better name!? I hate this title because A) it sounds like a collection of Church songs and B) I don’t think an album title should contain the word “music” in it. You might as well call it “Song Compilation” or “Audio Collection”!

Runner Up: Th1rt3en (Megadeth)

*Yeah, I know I said I was going to stop spelling it with the numbers, but this is most likely the last time I’ll have to write the title for a while so I’ll write it like this one more time. Hopefully Dave Mustaine’s wrath has been quelled for now.*

Check back tomorrow for more winners!

MAYEA Awards!

It's that time of year, guys. That's right. It's time for people on the Internet to get angry over awards given out to music/movies/games that they don't agree with. While people getting angry on the Internet is something that happens pretty much every day, now its my turn to fuel the fire with my winners, which will surely anger them for years to come (or at least until the next awards).

This brings me to introduce the first ever MAYEA Awards, which of course stands for the Metal Armory Year End Awards Awards! I got the idea for the name while I was taking money out of the ATM machine.

Between December 29-31, I will be posting my picks for the winners of totally random categories, all leading up to my pick for Album of the Year. Be sure to check back on those dates so you can get furious over how I'm wrong and your picks are clearly better, because this is totally an official institution and not at all the opinion of some dude typing this in his underwear. I probably shouldn't have mentioned that last part. Well, now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

Van Halen Announces Date for Announcement of Tour and "New" Album Next Year

All aboard the speculation train!

After releasing a trailer two days ago (posted below) and the graphic you see above, Van Halen has announced via Van Halen News Desk that they will announce the details on their upcoming 2012 tour on January 3. Tickets will begin to go on sale on January 10 and their "new" album should be released on February 7, if the date on the picture is to be believed.

I've gone on record before saying that I don't believe that there is a new Van Halen album and that I wasn't entirely convinced Van Halen was even a band anymore. Since the only people talking about their supposed new album were other musicians, I had assumed that the band simply played them a few songs they were either working on were unused tracks from previous albums and said "Hey! It's a new album!". In addition, after having the Australian Soundwave Revolution Festival cancelled on them as well as not playing at the Grammy Nominations Ceremony (and who can blame them?), I was beginning to believe that the band had absolutely no idea what they were doing. My prediction was that either David Lee Roth would quit the band again or Eddie Van Halen would check into rehab...again.

It seems now that there is actual hope for Van Halen, whether you like it or not. Announcing an announcement seems pretty stupid to me, and I'm honestly shocked that they are talking about releasing a new album in less than 2 months. As for the tour, I might actually try and see them, even if it will most likely cost an arm and a leg. Finally, Wolfgang is still fat.

Help Stop SOPA Or Else!

Stop the stopping of all the downloading!

As you may or may not know, there is a bill called the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) which, if it passes, makes it so that any website with potentially copyright infringing material can be taken down without warning. That means that sites like Youtube and Google will have to censor themselves heavily. Also, some of your favorite sites that use clips from movies, games, or music for reviews or other purposes will cease to exist. Even this site could be gone!

While I'm all for stopping online piracy, this bill is way too broad and goes against the idea of free speech as well as fair use policies. Thankfully, the majority of people agree with me and are doing their best to stop this bill from passing. That's where you come in. Below is a box where you can call your local congressman or send an email. There will be a committee held tomorrow where it will be decided if this bill will go to Congress. I highly urge you to help kill this bill before the Internet as we know it is changed forever.

Guns N' Roses Will Be Inducted Into Rock and Roll Hall of Shame

Congratulations, I guess.

You can all put down your pitchforks and Molotov cocktails (at least for now) because Guns N' Roses will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Along side them will be Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beastie Boys, The Small Faces, Donovan, and Laura Nyro. If anyone can tell me who the last three artists are, can you then tell me why they are being inducted?

This shouldn't come as too big of a surprise, although judging on how the Hall chooses its inductees, its a bit sad that GN'R not getting inducted was entirely plausible, while still highly unlikely. I already shared my thoughts on the whole situation when the nominations were announced, so I'll just say that its nice to see when this stupid organization actually gets it right, which is pretty rare. I'm also glad the Chili Peppers are getting inducted, and while I'm not really a Beastie Boys fan, I think they are deserving enough. I'd much rather see them get in than ABBA or Madonna. Thank god they'll never get inducted!

 YUHHYUNHBBBGBGY.HGRGH[RAUGIPERHIOEFHiwo[fheIFHDJLKHDusoGFDOFHEWA

Sorry. That was me banging my head against my keyboard.

It also should be noted that there is still no word on which band members (besides Fatxl Rose) will be included or if we'll see a reunion with the original lineup. We'll have to wait and see when the induction ceremony is broadcast on HBO April 14.

Alternate Reality Keeps Trend of Bad 80's Metal Videos Alive

 

If you were around in the 80's (or just browse Youtube), you might be aware that there are numerous bad music videos floating around from that era. Back when MTV used to actually play music videos, most bands made videos just so they could be on said channel and expose themselves to more people. The results were either clever, innovative representations of the band's music or random, cheesy amalgamations that could be harmful to one's eyes and/or brain. Metal bands were usually the main offenders.

It seems that one band, Alternate Reality, has decided to keep the tradition of terrible, low budget, fantasy themed music videos alive with their video for "The King That Never Was". I've included it above for your viewing pleasure/displeasure. Take your pick.

I can't tell if these guys are being serious or if they thought it would be funny to dress up in street clothes and sing about King Arthur. Whatever the case, it's nice to see that there are still music videos out there that embrace the stupidity of most metal videos from the 80's, even if those were of slightly higher production quality.

Since I've been talking about music videos today, I decided to deem all future Mondays as "Music Video Monday"! Every Monday, I'll choose an incredibly bad/cheesy music video, old or new, and give it the proper spotlight it probably doesn't deserve. Look out next week when I totally forget to publish the first one will have the first installment posted.

New Primal Fear Video Demands You To Rock Your Cranium To-and-Fro

The video for Primal Fear's new single, "Bad Guys Wear Black", has been released and can be viewed above.

While the song is fairly straightforward, there is a message contained within the chorus that needs to be addressed. In the last year or so, there seems to be a movement in the European Power Metal community that demands its audience to "Bang Your Head". This demand can be traced back earlier to Quiet Riot, although it appears that the Swedes, particularly Dream Evil and Hammerfall, have made a concentrated effort in recent times to make the youths of our generation engage in the banging of their heads. Now, it seems that Germany has joined in this revolution, requesting that their listeners participate in this questionable act.

What is the main objective of this movement? Could it be an effort by doctors to create an epidemic of neck injuries which would increase patients? Is this a commentary on how most Americans are "banging their heads" against the current economic situation and the corruption of politicians? Does the shaking of a person's surroundings as a result of banging one's head symbolize how the earth is crumbling around us!? My team of elite researchers and I will be investigating further into this radical movement as it continues.

Also, in case you're interested, Primal Fear's new album Unbreakable comes out January 24.